whoabuddy.com

i thought this was amazingly clever.

and, it really made me laugh.

i got it from: http://www.whoabuddy.com/2008/01/20/the-magic-of-the-mac-eject-button-o/

there.

that place is so neat.

Ever noticed the eject button the new MacBook Air? The eject button proves to be no use, since there is no disc drive on the computer, but is there anyways. Something must pop out when you press the button though. A list was created as the potential actions that the eject button could be capable of doing. Eject Random F-15 Eagle National Guard Pilot. Activate road speed bumps. Launch Inter-Continental Missiles. Launch giant dildos. Launches squirrels into oblivion. Activates self-destruction function in a Manila envelope. Forces internal battery to self-destruct. The picture is obviously a smokescreen, setting another rumor on the right path. Here is a Greater list:

• Ejects random F-15 Eagle National Guard pilot currently flying over the US.

• Activates road speed bump.

• Launches Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles while playing War Games with demented mainframes.

• Don’t make war, make love and launch giant dildos instead. (NSFW)

• Fires up the farter-burner in jet-propelled toilet.

• Ejects Blu-ray and HD DVD players and turn TVs off at boring consumer electronics conventions.

• Launches space fighters in the middle of the desert. Then press again to see them self-destruct mid-flight.• Kicks bad Imperial fake rock bands off the stage.

• Remotely makes Steve Jobs said “Boom!” at will during keynotes and events.

• Launches squirrels into oblivion.

• Activates self-destruction function in Manila envelope.

• Triggers portable secret RDF unit, making everyone 1.5 miles around you to fall in love and go to the store to buy one.

• Provoques fanboy orgasm. (NSFW)

• Provoques Slut Machine an orgasm. (NSFW)

• Provoques Slut Machine’s fanboys an orgasm. (NSFW)

• Forces internal battery to self-destruct, eliminating the need to change it

to jess love david.

Praise for the girl with bows in her hair
Praise for her compassion which is always near
Praise for her beauty which is alway there
Praise for her friendship may she always care
Oh how I praise the girl with bows in her hair
Praise for her words which are nothing but fair
Praise for her persistence as strong as a bear
Praise for her heart and praise that its I she cares

Hate, Is a Terrible Thing to Waste.

perished in existence
retracted from reform
prosecuted for free will
exiled inside your dorm

society's pet
mocked! shocked! worn! torn!
trapped to the sanctions of your own mind
sweat drips, it drops, it plops

the unwanted child
with a whore for a mother
no father! no father!
you're just a big bother

you're never cared for
never loved, never hugged
set in the corner
jet to the floor
met with your maker
now you are no more

its not like it matters
that you're even dead
the only thing you loved
were the sounds in your head

cough, cough: you're better off
wink, wink: next time you'll think
ahem, ahem: you choke on your flem
um, um: you were always to dumb

im glad you're gone
i hate to say it
you were a burden, to hard to bare
sinking further and further, into a pit of dispair

your words were thick
the stick like paste
they're deep, they're dark
your hate did not waste

Jess <3 David

this was written for my by a fellow poet :]
he's mazing, his name is David
he's my new best friend, and i love him. <3


So Stylish, So sweet
Can't wait until we meet
I have heard all about your hugs
Been a witness to your love
You kindly took me in
And made me a friend
So wise in your ways
Spread joy with the things you say
It's hard to write a poem for the best
You really are that talented Jess
Cheer me up when I am down
Jess turns my moods right around
With pretty eyes and a run way smile
Shes got heart and I dig the style
So kind, funny, pretty and neat
One of the two people in Arkansas I cant wait to meet

David

dont worry, i'll always except you
weather you're gay or straight, a catholic or a jew
true love is selfless, and i practice it
i give and give and give, until it's my time to get

and with being my new friend
love is what you'll get around the bend
just stay true to me
dont leave my side, dont flee

my friends are so dear to my heart
and in my heart, is where you'll start.
if you'll stick with it, then i will
we'll stand pround and strong, on friendship hill

to Joni Mitchell we'll laugh and sing
dance and prace, twirl and fling
what's to happen next
will there be phone calls, will there be text

or maybe it will stop after this
if that's to happen, you'll be deeply missed
i really dont see that in our future though
i think we'll be friends, you wont be my foe

here's your poem, and a smile too
i love meeting new people, and i love you."

Our Prayer Hand

for his glory, we stand
putting together, our prayer hand
safe and sound, under his command

promised a heaven, with streets of gold
if we are saved, that's what we are told
ready and willing, we're an easy mold

not for strength, not for power
not to control, not to devourer
i am his, and he is ours

our potential is quaint
but, our feelings are faint
we complain and complain, we're one big compliant

will we change, will we remain
this simple dull, plain old Jane
or his love, will we gain

only by striving, studying, and staying
loyal to him, that's the price we are paying
if we do not, we are only betraying

his love and his care
forever they are there
through the death and the prayer

his commitment is strong
never-ending and long
always with him, is where we belong

Their Sins

sectioned off, cut in half

torn apart, pulled away

living life, day to day

vicious, sadistic

corrupted, and unclean

simply cruel, simply mean

born like this, no

made into this, yes

take one.. wild..guess

you, you did this

you, and your ways

it's the way, that you were raised

grown to change

created to convertt

with only one blurt

you get in the minds

deep in there

a ravage bear

to cause commotion

that's your job

you make it throb

it's an icepick, in the heart

a knife in the back

you're stuffed in the sack

caught, for good

to be made new

into someone not you

never to go back

you're stuck in your mind

controlled, and confined

this wont stop

until we force it to

it's not up to me, it's only up to you

can you do it

can and will you win

can you show them, all their sin

it takes only one shot

then you're done

I'll be waiting here, to see if you won